| Lets try this again... |
[25 Oct 2005|09:48pm] |
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mood |
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 awake |
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music |
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embrace the end - carbombs and conversations |
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does anyone have anything in 3/4"!!??
i really need some new plugs.
show me what you got and ill worship the ground you walk on for like.... 20 minutes.
haha ♥
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i showed you my heart
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| i miss dave! |
[30 Aug 2005|06:37pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
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music |
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say anything- alive with the glory of love. |
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ive been awake FOR-EV-ER.
hahaha new orleans is dead.
i got some more good news today. made me fuzzy-like inside. this song reminds me of it. :/ good song.
Half past one and a dial tone to match. I've fooled sleep one too many times. This clock doesn't seem to move when I want, or should I say that time has no regard when you do. Appearance is just that, brightly colored walls and a slowly burning match. I've fooled sleep one too many times, only to degrade myself. With each word left unsaid, with each feeling left un-shown, one thousand times the urge to show you exactly how much you mean to me. Why did it have to end so soon? Moments after you said, "I love you," or so it seemed. (God I loved hearing those words.) I need to grow up.
i hate getting old.
cant i just sleep time away?
if only.
i wish mid september would come sooner////
at least i know that they are miserable too.
that shouldnt make me feel better.
but i guess with months feeling like the bad guy, it does.
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5 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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[30 Apr 2005|08:28pm] |
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mood |
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 woo! |
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music |
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MAE-track 8 |
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today was fun.
went with emojoe to get part of his sleeve done. looks good. pictures probally tomorrow. watched UFC and ate hotwings. he burned me the MAE cd and new receiving end of sirens cd. good times.
so i missed some calls today because my phone was off. ah well. i got fucking 20 hours of sleep last night. from 5pm to like 930 this morning. crazy. well i feel alot better which is good. ive been staying up till like 430 every morning. its bad.
so joe (  )called and messaged me today because hes in FL. i miss him. i hope he calls tonight because i miss our routine calls haha. its bad. haha. he leaves the most worthless voicemails on the face of the earth. he called to tell me he was bored and he got to FL and that he might go online later...it took him 5 minutes. idiot.
::sigh:: i need to talk to people. talking i dont want to do. jeesh.
im in a goofy-lets make ugly face
pictures today. leave me
alone !
"i need you here tonight just like the ocean needs the waves
just like the stars that fall around me now"
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8 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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[27 Apr 2005|02:18am] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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hazen st.-stick up kid |
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i heard him say
"theres at least three people who would give anything to have you"
"oh.. i can only think of two."(me)
"oh... i guess it just came out...."
......hm. i wonder
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i showed you my heart
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| YOULL BE KNOCKING ON MY DOOR, BUT I WONT LIVE HERE ANYMORE |
[07 Apr 2005|11:19pm] |
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mood |
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 discusted |
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music |
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he is ledgend-dinner with a gypsy |
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DEAR EX-FRIEND,
I STILL HAVE SO MUCH FUCKING RESPECT FOR YOU. SO MUCH FUCKING RESPECT. DONT YOU DARE THINK THAT YOU CAN CALL ME A WHORE. I HAVENT SAID ANYTHING SINCE WEVE DRIFTED APART, NOT ONE BAD WORD.
FUCK YOU.
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1 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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| this is not make beleive, this is so fucking real |
[22 Mar 2005|06:11pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
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music |
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from ashes rise- the mandate |
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Apr 3 - Folly w/ My Bitter End, Anterrabae, Tomorrow We Die, Afflitus, Indrid
Doors 6:00pm $10
i cant wait. i havent seen MBE in so long.
the dancing will commence.
i hope jon goes so i can see him. and get my camo hat back
^ im definatley thinking about it. ^
it says:
STRAIGHT EDGE
it means ill kill you
hahahaha
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8 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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[24 Apr 2004|12:20am] |
redid ye olde journal. couldnt find a cooler backround picture cuz im so tired. hope you like it
♥
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1 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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[28 Mar 2004|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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why do parents have to be so fucking annoying?
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i showed you my heart
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| yay monroe |
[20 Mar 2004|08:55pm] |
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mood |
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awake |
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music |
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super mario bloops |
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yay im in monroe! go me! we went to a show yesterday. lovely . so many people were hitting on me! ahhhh! it was scary because i have a boyfriend and wouldnt be gay and cheat on him. we went to our friend will's house. oh boy is he a funny one? haha yes. yes. he is. and they taunt me with the yucky word for underarm!filth! yes and i love how katies friends are mean to me. yes. so i dont think im going to see her this weekend because i dont want to be around kelly. she was the one who was mean to me. grr. she made me mad. anyways..... yes wills house was tons-o-fun. any who... time to play super mario on super nintendo. yay.
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2 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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[17 Mar 2004|10:06am] |
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music |
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hersay tao- lithium lithium |
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why do i haveto live on top of a fucking mountain?!? >:O
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1 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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[16 Mar 2004|06:32pm] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
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music |
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Hersay TAO- Pritty Boy Fury |
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me and mother got in another fight.
lots of yelling and banging things
went upstairs
watched dogma
fell asleep at like 3
now im up.
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i showed you my heart
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| fucking spectacular |
[14 Mar 2004|09:38pm] |
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yea this is fucking grrrrrrreat. just when i thought i was finally happy, today me and mother get in another fight, i feel isolated and alone again, and im just fed up with shitty people. i went snowboarding this weekend. i felt so guilty laughing and having a good time. people saw jeremy this weekend. everyone except myself. and im fed up with people trying to steal the ones i love away from me. and im just fed up with 'him'. god. i mean i know we have the same friends... but he can at least try to be my friend... right? unless im a totally worthless asshole now. oh yes thats right. now i remember. this is how i felt before the days of 'joe.' he actually makes me feel like a person with other feelings besides sad. its funny that this is what happens to me when i haven talked to him in two days. i feel like i have no control over my life again, like im still the "new girl". im back in september walking into dover jr. sr. middle highschool all over again and seeing people whisper, stare, and point and it drives me insane. their ignorance and hostility has leaked in through my pores, and soon enough, i fear, i might become ignorant and hostile like them. just as one fears death, i fear conformity. i feel like if i dont stand out, or do something rash people wont notice me or even care about me. so i think that means ive turned into a total asshole. im thriving on attention and thats just not like me. this is so fucking annoying. its making me mad that im feeling like this again because i was finally happy for a while and i thought that this stupid teenager shit was over for a while. i hate hormones. yea i try to 'look foward to things' but then that black storm cloud comes creeping back into my mind blocking out that little ray of sunshine i call hope. :note: LITTLE ray of sunshine. i regret to inform you my cup that has had joy in it once, sprung a crack, and is leaking onto the countertop onto the floor, and is slowly drying up, never again to be obtained.i think i should write a song. yes. thats how im going to attempt to releive myself from this suicide called life. im going to go on my roof and write a song. pray i dont do something stupid.
im becoming what i hate.
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i showed you my heart
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[11 Mar 2004|09:38pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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lee talking to rat girl |
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holey shit. jeremy and noelle are spectacular people. they didnt need this.
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i showed you my heart
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| go vegan food! |
[10 Mar 2004|08:16pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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music |
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go mordecai-itdoes what its told |
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wow joes brother chris made really good vegan cookies. well his mom did but it was a good recipe...or however you spell it. and we had vegan lasanga too. im not sure how to spell that either but oh well. i stayed after for the ARC today... it was fun!! we made posters for the meatout on march 19....SO DONT EAT MEAT on that day!! its really march 20th so dont eat meat then either! my poster is in mrs collacchio's room. yay. then chris drove us home...frank was behind us i think. well i saw frank before we left the parking lot. joe is so much fun! heh. if jeremy doesnt have band practice then me and joe and jeremy and kristen are going to go to good will and have fun with that. wow my mom made this really good stawberry lemon cake and its so addicting. i like food. if you havent noticed. kevin mulligan (for all you people in monroe) is FINALLY sending me a shirt and a demo. oh yea! chris said hed make me a kfc tortures chickens shirt...yay. i like joes so im happy that im gonna get one of my own. hmm what else can i tell you. i havent updated in a while. well it seems so. hm. ahh my stomach is starting to hurt so lemme go take care of that. talk to you chitlens later =D
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1 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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[07 Mar 2004|09:35pm] |
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mood |
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 loved |
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music |
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underoath- young and aspiring |
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wow today kicked ass. even though i didnt go to the show :( >:O i went to moosies house and watched movies. chris was home some of the time. hes cool. their mom made a vegan casserole and it was realllllly good. i liked it. yea. i cant wait till THIS weekend cuz im going snowboarding!! woo hoo! i still need a coat. then the weekend after im going back to monroe with erinne. then the week after i think im going BACK to monroe for the reunion of the three stooges (me katie and kristen :D) i love thoes girls. ahh. well i dont have anthing else to say so yea.
as long as you are here with me
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i showed you my heart
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[06 Mar 2004|11:29pm] |
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wow my mom just fucking called and i asked her about tonys house and she was like I NEVER SAID YOU COULD GO and i was like holey shit yes you did and she fucking hung up on me and i screamed FUCKER and my dog started barking. she always ruins my good moods. she was like ILL TALK ABOUT IT WHEN I GET HOME and i was like youll still be be thinking the same shit when you get home.
in the infamous words of lucia-i hate.
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i showed you my heart
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[06 Mar 2004|10:41pm] |
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mood |
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loved |
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music |
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tears of red- your palette of red |
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all i have to say about tonight it...
wow. i love it.
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3 showed me the door | i showed you my heart
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[05 Mar 2004|09:21pm] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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music |
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andrew wk - ready to die. |
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mann evb is at the bane show :( im grounded. grr. i hate my mom. yesterday we got in another fight she was like you cant go to the show at the school and i wa slike why? and she was like bc we have to go visit les uncle. and i was like I DONT EVEN KNOW THE DYING BASTARD!!! yea so they took him off a respirator and he died. good. and i probally dont have to go to a funeral. my mom made me feel like an ass hole about it too. she was like why cant you be more sympathetic. and i was like ok im going to go kill myself now. i think youd like that. grr. im going wether she likes it or not. im gonna go to the one bullet theory show too. and one on march 20th. she can kiss my ass. im fucking sick and tired of her selfish bullshit. well im happy that me and justin are friends now and that joe is comming over on monday.
pray to god i dont kill myself by the time this song is through....
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i showed you my heart
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one_n_onlyjojo's journal
